Read the Scriptures and the Psalm below to confirm that you acknowledge Step 5. Read out loud with your Christian group or your sponsor.
He reached down from on high and took hold of me,
He drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the Lord was my support.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
he rescued me because he delighted in me.
(Psalm 18: 16-18)
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your addictions may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord (Acts 3: 19)
Jesus is unlike anyone else that has ever walked this earth. Jesus has the power to remove our addictions, to forgive sin, which is at the heart of Step 5. Forgiveness, or in other words, to forgive us from our previous thinking and behaviour alas having our defects removed allows us to attempt change from our character into His.
We drank, drugged or what-ever it was we did, due to having a defective character, a personality full of self. Jesus heals us from all that we did again and again and finally forgives, period. No matter what, when and how we did all that ruinous behaviours, all can be forgiven by our Lord Jesus Christ. How many times can He forgive us when our memories regurgitate past iniquities after iniquity, which in itself creates what we felt were permanent defects. Much of the time we braved off these defects as some kind of dangerous edge of the world where no one else dared to tread. We thought we were defiant, when we were far from it.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
(Matthew 18: 21-22)
We must understand that God has always been ready to take away our addictions and sins. Further to this, God can take the sins of the world, let alone our minor defects that maybe major in our own lives, but with God, they are minimal that can be taken with ease.
If we claim to be without addiction, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our cravings, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our old habits and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. (John 1: 8-10)
My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not return to your cravings. But if anybody does obsess, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our old ways, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world. (John 2: 1-2)
Modern head doctors may be able to expose an old wound, but they do not have the power to heal or redeem anything at all, let alone forgive sin. Doctors do not and cannot reach the soul in the way Jesus can. We may feel a little better due to the exposure, but it is the healing from Jesus that makes us whole and free. In my personal experience, the psychotherapist managed to excavate old transgression from deep within my thinking, but really couldn’t do much about it, other than say ‘forgive yourself’ while offering prescribed drugs to nullify my mind. I was prescribed mind-altering drugs on two occasions, but threw the pills away both times. Having God forgive us first places us on a much better playing field. During one group therapy session a particular gentleman was swigging from a small bottle of scotch, another middle-aged lady lost the plot with screams while tapping her head hoping to release herself from that which was tampering her, and still another had to leave to pace up and down outside the building. The whole scene was brought on due to exposure of their past, and combining that with the absence of Jesus, hell was let loose. On this occasion we were told to return and walk through our childhood as an adult. We were told to embrace our younger selves with love and say “I’ve got you now”. Exposure is one thing and healing is on a completely different playing field that only Jesus can provide.
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For your defects (sins) died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived.
But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. (Colossians 3: 1-10)
Once you have released your step 3 inventory to Christ, you will be more ready than you ever were to complete Step 5 and 6. In the safety of our Christian sponsors, we must take some self-reflection. The central principle here is humility, something that we know very little about.
To begin, we must remember who we are giving our old life to with all its defects, addictions and maladjustments.
In your group, or with your sponsor, prepare a piece of A4 paper with the heading ‘Jesus, I give these defects of my character up to you, Amen’. Placing Jesus at the forefront of step 5 we say this prayer or something similar that will remind us of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Thank you Lord for this moment
of tranquility and of Your power
that with you Lord I can sit and pray
on your word alone in peace and humility
that I am ready to have these defects removed Amen
Step 5 begins with the recognition that addiction is often accompanied by our character defects, which we need restitution from. Our defects can personify a wide range of harmful traits, such as dishonesty, self-seeking, resentment, anger and fear. Admitting these flaws is the primary part of step 5 where recompense is made, freeing you up and leading you toward spiritual growth and recovery through Jesus Christ our Lord.
The primary principle of Step 5 is humility, which involves recognizing our weaknesses that must be restored to strengths. We understand that no one is perfect and everyone has room for spiritual development.
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Romans 3: 23-24)
Humility allows us to admit our shortcomings without shame and with a willingness to change.
Step 5 allows us to engage in self-reflection. We have been honest in Step 3 and 4; we now examine our thoughts, feelings and the patterns of old behaviour while knowing that the strength they once had on us is gone. Through this process, we can gain insight into how our character defects have contributed to our past addictions, and how those old behaviours have wedged apart our very lives and relationships.
Step 5 stresses redemption and restitution to have these character defects removed. This co-operation is key, as it indicates a readiness for change. This willingness sets the stage for personal growth. To begin again, or to be ‘born again’ as Jesus stated in the book of John.
Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.
“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”
Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”
(John3: 3-8)
To complete step 5, it is a good idea to focus on the primary defects that we had while in self, before we were ‘born again in the Spirit’. Pride, dishonesty, fear, self-pity, jealousy and impatience are a good place to start. There are however further issues that may arise later, like demandingness and narcissism. These realizations can be dealt with as we travel on our new road making sure that we take one day at a time. As we continue on with our Spiritual growth, we gain more trust within our new fellowship. We can discuss the deeper recesses of our souls once a more God confidence arises in us, once we have a little more maturity. Let’s remember the scripture where Saint Paul focusses on being fed with milk rather than solid food, which tells us we must be weaned first. (1 Corinthians 3)
Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18: 4)
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4: 1-6)
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever Amen. (1 Peter 5: 6-10)
Step 5 involves acknowledging personal flaws and character defects and asking God to remove them all; based on the belief that God can and will help us overcome every last one. Alongside humility, another core principle of this step is a belief in God (that we should already have). We must recognize the need for divine help rather than relying on our own so-called inner strength. Will power does not hack it but hinders our spiritual growth. Determined self-will does not work when up against the devils’ schemes. Adding to this, self-will and humility are not a good mix, a rare commodity of differing energies! We have a new designer, an architect, that has presented us with a better set of plans. A set of drawings that will refresh and renew our broken state. When working on building sites for many years, when builders were presented with new plans we would sit in the canteen and say “here come the new comics” and roll our eyes at such plans that we were presented with. After a while we could see however, that the building was looking good and it was then that we understood the architect’s new design. When amongst the dust and turmoil on a building site, we were not best placed to visualize the end result, which came in time.
“God opposes the proud but shows favour to the humble.”
(James 4: 6)
Jesus washes the feet of His disciples, and the Scriptures tell us that those same Disciples did not know what Jesus actually meant when He did this act.
After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
“No,” said Peter, “you shall never wash my feet.”
Jesus answered, “Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.” “Then, Lord,” Simon Peter replied, “not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!”(John 13: 5-9)
“Do you understand what I have done for you?” he asked them. “You call me Teacher and Lord and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.” (John 13: 12-17)
Jesus showed true humility by washing His disciples’ feet. This act shows us whole heartedly that He was here to serve and not be served. It is hard to imagine Jesus washing our feet, an ex drunk who does not deserve such treatment, but this is what He says he is doing, by being here to serve as a living sacrifice.
‘For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many’. (Mark 10: 45)
God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all addictions.
If we claim to be without obsessions, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our cravings, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our defects and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. (1 John 1: 5-10)
We are better placed showing real and committed humility by praying the step 5 prayer while on our knees, which is true humility. God knows our hearts and thinking, but to show that we are humble enough to pray on our knees will allow us to bring in His love closer to our hearts.
Thank you Lord that I can kneel in Your love
that you can remove from me all my defects of character
that block my path to you Lord Jesus and that Your word
can saturate me with the love of God
Thankyou Lord for Your truth, word, love and life Amen
Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;
Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.
If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
(Psalm 130: 1-4)
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3: 12-14)
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. (Romans 12: 14-16)
The most formidable act of forgiveness comes from Jesus when He was nailed to the cross. It is not easy to imagine the pian that He was in after receiving such a beating, having a thorn of crowns placed on His head, and then crucified. It is however, during this moment when Jesus said.
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23: 34)
When I read Luke chapter 23 I often hold the Bible at arm’s length while squinting slightly in cringe mode while thinking how on God’s great earth did He manage to do such a powerful thing, and then I remember who Jesus was and is Amen. It is this incredible Jesus example that we follow, and we must understand that we are forgiven and that we can do the same to others, no matter what they did to us.
To gain real Christian freedom, we must take a deeper look at the list we prepared in our Step 3. We must see our part in the 3rd column and simply reverse the self-seeking to God seeking, dishonest to honest, frightened to God fearing and inconsiderate to considerate in all our future dealings with those on the list, and more if you can think of further people who have harmed you. In essence, we ask to remove our self-seeking and for Him to make us God seeking in all our future dealings with this person. This is repentance at its earliest stage, remember, we are still fledgling Christians only being edged and ushered toward the edge of the nest, we have not flown out as yet.
Many of us were introverted bullies. We lashed out at people that we thought opposed us in one way or another. We lashed out verbally and physically at those who happened to be in front of us at any given time, blaming them for the pain that was brought on during our lives. Our personalities matured over the years without the power to forgive. We stored it all up and gathered pace without knowing how our personalities were shaped at all. It was a natural way to react, wouldn’t you, we’d yell. The pain was too much for us. We never really saw that it was us causing others harm. One friend of mine managed to lash out at most people she knew, always blaming them for causing her to threat. At her own mother’s funeral, she verbally abused her sister for all the ills caused during their childhood, not realizing that it was her sister’s mother too. She was selfish to the highest degree. If you have sinned against someone in some apparent self-defence, they must go on the list too. Justified resentments are not good for us at all. We cannot afford them, they make us ill.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6: 14-15)
Forgiveness through Jesus is paramount for us to maintain our spirituality. We must have the freedom Jesus offers, which is gained in part by forgiving others who have troubled us. The instruction is clear as stated in the Lords prayer. “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us”. And this will only materialize if we forgive everyone who has hurt us in any way shape or form. We can see in the previous steps how much God has forgiven us of our drunkenness, debauchery, immorality, hatred to others and so on. All we need to do is apply the same energy to others that have hurt us. If we focus our gaze on Him who has all knowledge and power over our newfound life, then there are no ifs or buts, only total forgiveness.
God knows we need forgiveness ourselves, which is the great paradox that happens if we forgive others. The Bible tells us what we must do to move forward with forgiveness in our hearts, to make it a more natural process that resides within our very being, which would allow us to move on up to that super-natural power that now has a hold of us.
There is a great deal online detailing commitments, learning curves and how to develop a forgiving mind set, to become wholesome and correct. Much of it is about following particular guidelines, rules and regulations to become ‘forgivingly fit’ as one site puts it. We, on the other hand, have decided to rely on Jesus is our leader and guide where He alone can show us what we must do to forgive. To ‘get’ Jesus, we must read His words.
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 1: 1-5)
We can see here the mindset we need to begin our forgiving journey, to be with Jesus who, with His peace, we can take on anything at all.
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Ephesians 1: 14-15)
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
(Ephesians 1: 31-32)
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5: 23-24)
Jesus tells us that we are to be reunited with our brother or sister if they have things against us. Not only are we to be thorough in trying to make things right when resentments are involved, but it also implies that we should be sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others, so that we can deal correctly with any remaining resentment or anger. There could also be an implication that since they are now brother or sister, meaning we are all connected through one humanity, brings in a new courage that comes from the Lord. The approach is made with far less fear.
As a prisoner in the Lord, then, I urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling you have received; with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. (Ephesians 1: 1-3)
And this righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no distinction, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. (Romans 3: 22-24)
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
(2 Corinthians 5: 18-21)
Jesus is telling us that when we become ‘peace makers’, that we become the true children of God. The eighth and ninth steps are about making peace with those whom we have wronged, as much as God will guide us to do so. Our old school practice is to sweep past wrongs under the rug of our old lives, and we try to forget about them. Out of sight out of mind, or so we used to think, not realizing that they tamper with our minds all the while. By making amends however, we are able to go the second mile to bring peace and goodness where there might have been haunting doubts, suspicion or misunderstanding before. We can become real peacemakers who have been blessed by the greatness and beauty of Jesus.
You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘You fool,’ is answerable to the court. (Matthew 5: 21-22)
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matthew 5: 43-48)