Christian Recovery

Read the Scriptures and the Psalm below to confirm that you acknowledge Step 3. Read out loud with your Christian group or your sponsor.

Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
(Psalm 51: 1-2)

There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight. (Luke 12: 2-3)

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from Your presence;
take not Your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
and sustain me with a willing spirit.
(Psalm 51: 10-12)

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say to the LORD, “You are my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust”.

Surely, He will deliver you
from the snare of the fowler,
and from the deadly plague.
He will cover you with His feathers,
under His wings you will find refuge;
His faithfulness is a shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of the night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the calamity that destroys at noon.
Though a thousand may fall at your side,
and ten thousand at your right hand,
no harm will come near you.
(Psalm 91: 1-7)

As Christians we must take a moral inventory of ourselves, which allows us to carry on growing with His word. We get rid of our own words and sentences leaving room in our heads for His words.  The idea is centuries old and is certainly supported by biblical passages that emphasize self-examination, confession and repentance. It is a basic common spiritual principal for growth in faith and an understanding of our new relationship with God. This practice involves honestly examining our earlier life, identifying defective areas, and using this self-reflection to nurture repentance, gain freedom and build a closer relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ.  The resentments caused by what happened to us are still with us living rent free in our heads manifesting and reshaping our personalities. What happened in the past cannot be changed. How we deal with it ‘Today’ can.  We must uncover all those resentments.

First, we must find someone from outside our close friends like a church member, Christian counsellor or mentor who can spend time discussing with us what went on to cause such resentments. If you honestly feel that a small group would work then that’s fine, as long as trust and prayer is at the forefront of the groups’ thinking.

 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” (Matthew 18: 19-20)

Many of us were hurt physically, mentally and even sexually by an older and stronger person who bullied us into submission and silence. We held on for years festering a powerless and hopeless state of mind. We were, and still can be in fact, wrapped in a mental strait jacket having no way out of this circular festering maze. Round and around our thinking travels picking up debris like a hurricane building up garbage to ultimately destroy us in the process.  Having our past ‘re-sent’ to us is precisely what resentment is. With the way our minds work we develop those that hurt us in the past to almost Dickensian type ogres. Some were ogres, but they cannot reside in our heads any longer. They must go and God will get rid of them for us. We ask God to remove these characters from within us, to move them to His universal realm light years from our heads.

To reshape our personalities from our inner thoughts to God’s, we must release the fear that has built up inside our heads over the years. Resenting our loved ones also, who we hoped would pull us out of the hell we were in. Our mothers, fathers, husband, wives, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts and friends were not always there for us, and we never told a soul what went on during that awful period in our lives. We moved away from those that loved us because we couldn’t deal with what we thought were their shortcomings. Fear took hold and where there is fear love cannot reside. How cruel is this truth? We feel that we did nothing wrong and yet our thinking has been so distorted it is like we hardly had any life at all.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” (1 John 4:18)

Discuss where you were fearful and how fear led to such a traumatic life. 
What happened. Who was you frightened of?

Once you have discussed your past, prepare a piece of A4 paper and align 3 columns with a pen. At the top of the first column write ‘I am resentful at’, the second ‘the cause’ and the third ‘My part’. 

To begin, list the names of all those that have hurt you, and the names of family and friends who you resented. You must list names first without any reservations.  Leave a gap of 4 lines between each name allowing room to write down the cause in the second column beside each name. Remember, keep it simple and list names first writing downward. Listing the names first is essential. Under the cause column write one or two sentences beside each name should suffice. In the last column write down your part for each resentment. Were you frightened, inconsiderate, dishonest or self-seeking

Taking a moral inventory helps Christians identify and address areas of why we drank or drugged in the first place. It helps us with the bitter pill that we took every day of our saddening lives. It helps too with getting rid of our resentments, which enables us to grow in our faith, make amends, and move toward a more positive and transformed life.  Recognizing that we played a part in our childhood traumas can be difficult, but we must remember that ‘our part’ does not mean ‘our fault’. Perhaps being frightened, which rendered us fearful and silent, could have been the only part we played.  This being the case we simply write down on our list the word frightened beside the person and resentment that made you feel that way. Being frightened may have been the only part you played in something that happened when you were a child. That is YOUR PART. No action needed to be applied, only your emotion at the time.

 Step 3 diagram above

We look at dishonesty because we held on for many years without telling a soul, which is dishonesty. Look further at how inconsiderate we were when we raged and angered our way through various disagreements. Of course, it’s very difficult to see how we had any part in the awful things that had happened to us in the past, but we must search out the fear it caused, and why we kept it to ourselves for so long.

As we can see in the above table, we looked at corporations too, where did the banks deny our requests and insurance companies failed to pay out. Bills fluttered through our letter boxes causing resentment and anger.

Past tantrums were created by a bad spirit, which stayed with us for all these years governing our every move. All those festering histories building up a character that you actually disliked but somehow tolerated.  Looking away from the mirror, disheveled, while our thinking shapes our very personalities by past misdemeanors.  We become endured by loved ones and friends who roll their eyes on our approach.  Many years ago, on approaching my parents’ front door to pay a visit, resentment would already be with me before they had answered it.  Defensive mechanism took hold and I would often leave early after making an excuse and ensuring that they knew how well things were going for me. The same with friends who saw through my fixed grin with their ‘what’s the matter’ questions.

Once the cause of our problem, or root if you like, is found residing in our own heads we entrench words and behaviours to out this negative force once and for good. Anger, rage and resentment were our lot. We write down every name going back through our lives as far as we can remember.

On completing our list we highlight the key words under the fear column, and finding a new sheet of paper we write down a prayer using God words directly from The Bible.

The pains of life will bite and wound for a little while longer, but will soon be at an end. The devil within will now be gasping for breath knowing that the end of bitterness and burden is very near. Your lesions will heal with only harmless scars left as reminders. God will make it happen.  He has risen!  Jesus will remove your past transgressions and you, in the spiritual sense, be ressurected too.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5: 17)

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12: 2)

Stay within the vibrant range of God’s voice that generates through the Bible and into our hearts. Keep a Bible close by on a table you often use and discipline yourself to pick it up for at least thirty minutes every day. In doing this you will read through from cover to cover in a year. Join a church, and once you’ve gotten to know a few in the congregation join a home group and a Bible study group. Take advise from those that know the Bible and act on it, remembering always that the Bible is not here to enhance our knowledge, but to transform our lives. Listen to God’s heartbeat through the Word of Jesus. Relying on God’s word reacts in us like metal being pulled toward a powerful magnet. We cannot see the forces at work, but we know they are there running through us and around us, it’s called The Holy Spirit. Let go let God, stop fighting the flow of movement that is now within you. Face the right way in the stream of life and flow towards God’s grace.

That, however, is not the way of life you learned when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus.  You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbour, for we are all members of one body.  “In your anger do not sin” Do not let the sun go down while you are still angryand do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4: 20-27)

We are told in Ephesians 4 by Saint Paul; ‘Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry’, which clearly says we must take inventory at the end of each day before we retire at night.  We immediately feel better and lighter, our sleep returns once our inventory has been given up in Step 3 and 4, but we must prevail, because even after such an immediate event the whole truth may take a few more days or even years to finally come out of our mouths. The origin and consequences have been realized, and the main will be gone at Step 4, and you will feel so much better. We must realize, however, that there is more to do. The main junk has been written down, but the debris clings on to the dark caverns of our minds and could take more God time to finally be shot of. We must hang on in there and continue with our respective churches or Christian counsellors and continue the race of perseverance to the end, feeling freer and better as we go.  Jesus has the light, the torch that searches through our opened minds where He can find any dark caverns and old cobwebs that need dusting down and dealing with. When our past re-appears in the future, spill it out of your mouth immediately to your Christian friends and remain free, Amen.