Read the Psalms and scripture below to confirm that you acknowledge Step 4. Read out loud with your Christian group or your sponsor.
Blessed is the one
whose transgressions are forgiven,
whose addictions are covered.
Blessed is the one
whose past cravings the Lord does not count against them
and in whose spirit is no deceit.
When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
your hand was heavy on me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer.
Then I acknowledged my addictions to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the Lord.
And you forgave
the guilt of my iniquity”.
(Psalm 32: 1-5)
This is a formidable passage that speaks to us about the cleansing power once we have confessed the consequences of our addictions to God. David tells us in the Psalms that when he kept silent his bones grew old, but when he confessed the Lord forgave him. There is no time dilation here, it is immediate, as long as you have confessed all that needs confessing, you will feel the weight lifted from off your shoulders right away. David then calls the Lord his hiding place, rather like a sanctuary. When we try to hide our defective behaviours all we hide behind is shame, guilt and remorse. But when we confess our sins to God, then in His grace we find a loving place that keeps us safe and protected.
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye”. (Matthew 7: 3-5)
The ’speck’ Jesus is referring to here is our defects, which prevents clear vision. If we have defects that need dealing with then we dispense with them first before we can see clearly to help our fellow addicts. We are of no use when we are in the propellants of our sickness regardless of our length of sobriety.
We should by now have some sense of God’s presence. We should also have one or two Christians around us to whom we can share our inventory with. In 2 Corinthians Saint Paul tells us to ‘examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith’.
There are many doctors out there telling us that we cannot afford to harvest a grudge or resentment. Such things cause mental stress that has strong relations to our physical wellbeing. Fear makes us tense, wince and recoil, which causes physical harm too. We become spiritually dormant also. I read on one occasion about a gentleman who had harbored resentments against a family member who sued him. He simply thought of nothing but hatred and was dead within two years. He may well have died anyway some may suggest, but his physical deterioration seemed to develop rapidly once the court case was over. It doesn’t take much argument to relate that the resentment, pain and his passing ran alongside each other.
Answer these two questions before continuing.
- Do you feel the love of Jesus Christ is working in and around you?
- Do you believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life.
If you have answered yes to both questions, let’s keep the light on and move forward. Remaining in your small church group you can share your confession with a more mature Christian who will, in turn, place them all at the foot of the cross. Jesus and His universe can cope with our thinking far better than we ever could. Get rid of it, spill it out of your mouth. Let God deal with it from this moment on. We made a real mess of it all, but now we have hope in the Lord Jesus Christ Amen.
Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have transgressed, they will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your addictions to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. (James 5: 13-16)
We have found someone from within the church who is outside our close friends, someone who will spend time with us and help us to confess our resentments. If you honestly feel a small group would work then that’s fine, as long as trust and prayer is at the forefront of the group’s thinking. Although you have listed people, resentments and your part, you must read across the page as you would any text, from left to right without reservations.
Once you have read out your part you ask God to help you become considerate, honest and god fearing
Once you have read across one line you can offer a sentence or two in explanation, but do not ponder or spend too much time with one name. In the most part you will certainly remember the worse of it, and you will be released from all of it, which will free you up to move on in your newfound spiritual life.
To reshape our personalities from our inner thoughts to God’s we must release the fear that had built up in us over the years. Resenting our loved ones who we hoped would pull us out of the hell we were in will be a thing of the past. We believed while we were in the sickness that our mothers, fathers, husband, wives, brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts and friends were not always there for us, and we never told a soul what went on during that awful period in our lives. Fear took hold and where there is fear love cannot reside. How cruel is this truth? We were sick and failed to love correctly, and now we want to get well and love with all our hearts. Remember that the bible tells us “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear”. (1 John 4)
Briefly discuss where you were frightened and how the fear led to a traumatic life. Who was you frightened of and how was it caused? Explain what happened.
May these words of my mouth
and this meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.
(Psalm 19)
Hear me, Lord, my plea is just,
listen to my cry. Hear my prayer
it does not rise from deceitful lips.
Let my vindication come from you,
may your eyes see what is right.
Though you probe my heart,
though you examine me at night and test me,
you will find that I have planned no evil,
my mouth has not transgressed.
Though people tried to bribe me,
I have kept myself from the ways of the violent
through what your lips have commanded.
My steps have held to your paths,
my feet have not stumbled.
I call on you, my God, for you will answer me,
turn your ear to me and hear my prayer.
Show me the wonders of your great love,
you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes.
Keep me as the apple of your eye,
hide me in the shadow of your wings
from the wicked who are out to destroy me,
from my mortal enemies who surround me.
(Psalm 17: 1-9)
Psalm 17 says ‘though people tried to bribe me’, which is a confrontation from our old pub or drug friends who, through their own insecurities, attempt us back to our old ways. At this point we are having none of it. We are far better placed in ignoring their calls completely. We can revisit them once our newfound faith is more secure and we live more so within the annals of our church. We can, for added power, ask our new friends to help us when inviting our old bedraggled comrades to church. We must not invite them to our home or visit theirs. The only invitation must be from you, and for them to attend your church and nothing more. No more social nights out with the old crowd, all that must pass us by through prayer and God willingness. The old has gone and the new is here, Amen. We will certainly fail if we do not acknowledge that God is working through us and our new church family. The term ‘give up’ as in giving up drinking or smoking becomes literally what we do. The term originates from God, which is who we give our transgressions up to.
With Step 3 our past is made clear to us. We are far better placed if we redeem ourselves by releasing all those that are captive in our minds. The old adage, ‘that they are living rent free in our heads’ is one comment I always remember when I attended the 12 Step meetings. It is true that all these old foes are rattling around in the back, or forefront, of our caged minds and there is very little we can do about it without divine help and guidance.
Finally for Step 4, we must look at the last column that shows us where we were frightened, inconsiderate, dishonest and self-seeking. We must say a prayer for each person that we resented and show humility by saying that we will be God fearing, considerate, honest and God seeking in all our dealings in the future with each person.
Say this prayer for all those on your list, repeat the first paragraph with each name on your list.
Dear Lord Jesus
I thank you for your strength.
Take away my defects of character Lord.
I have been frightened, inconsiderate, self-seeking and dishonest
Allow me Lord, with your grace, words and truth
that I will become God seeking, fearless, considerate and honest
in all my future dealings with _(name)_.
Thankyou Lord for your faithful Words and freedom.
Thank you, Lord, for your power and strength.
Release me from all my fears.
for you are with me from now and forever.
You are my God. You will strengthen me with your word.
Enlighten me Lord Jesus with Your wisdom.
I ask that Your peace, which transcends all understanding,
will guard my heart and mind. (Proverbs 3)
Say the above prayer for all those on your list, one name after the other until you have completed the whole list. If you prefer you can say your own prayer as long as it coincides with the words of Jesus Christ. Meditate for a few minutes or so, once you have completed the above.
I will exalt you, Lord,
for you lifted me out of the depths
and did not let my enemies gloat over me.
Lord my God, I called to you for help,
and you healed me.
You, Lord, brought me up from the realm of the dead;
you spared me from going down to the pit.
Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people;
praise his holy name.
For his anger lasts only a moment,
but his favor lasts a lifetime;
weeping may stay for the night,
but rejoicing comes in the morning.
When I felt secure, I said, “I will never be shaken.”
Lord, when you favored me,
you made my royal mountain c stand firm;
but when you hid your face, I was dismayed.
To you, Lord, I called;
to the Lord I cried for mercy:
“What is gained if I am silenced,
if I go down to the pit? Will the dust praise you?
Will it proclaim your faithfulness?
Hear, Lord, and be merciful to me;
Lord, be my help.” You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.
Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
Well done thus far and God bless you Amen
(Psalm 30)